[identity profile] arashikuro.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] blackstormfics
Title: It Isn't Easy
Pairing: One-Sided Sakuraiba, Yama, Slight Matsumiya
Rating: R
Length: 2525 words
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: Sakurai Sho loves Aiba, and Ohno loves Sakurai Sho. What will Sakurai do?
Requested by: [livejournal.com profile] juchi_kazunashi


It isn’t easy being in love with your bandmate. It isn’t exactly easy to be in love, period, when you are in a nationally famous idol group, but it’s even harder when you have to see the object of your affection almost every day. When you see every side of them, when you know every small detail about them. When you are with them through everything, the good and the bad.
It isn’t easy.


Sakurai Sho’s eyes wandered over to where Aiba Masaki was sitting in the greenroom, chatting with Nino. Sho thought Aiba looked particularly beautiful today, with his unstyled hair partially covering his face, and his oversized sweater slipping off his shoulder, exposing the birthmark that was usually hidden. When Aiba laughed at one of Nino’s jokes, Sho couldn’t help but smile fondly. Aiba’s smile was gorgeous, and Sho felt warm and fuzzy whenever he caught a glimpse of it. Sakurai’s smile soon faded, though, as he remembered that he was admiring what he couldn't have. Sho sighed. He never had a chance with Aiba, anyways.


Sho was fairly surprised when Ohno Satoshi asked him to stay behind after work finished. Needless to say he was even more surprised when Ohno confessed to him.
“You like me?”
“Yes, for a while now.”
Sho took a deep breath.
“Um... I’m really sorry... but there’s someone else right now...”
“That’s okay. I didn’t expect you to like me back, I just didn't want to keep it in anymore.”
Sho nodded.
“See you tomorrow then?”


“I asked you to come to over because I wanted to chat about something." It was later that night, and Jun and Sho were sitting across each other at the kitchen table in Jun and Nino’s shared apartment.
“What is it?”
“Nino told me that Ohno asked you out, and you rejected him.”
“And why exactly did Nino know this?”
“Have you seen those two? Oh-chan tells everything about his personal life – which is usually just boring stuff about his fishing trips – to Nino."
“And why did Nino tell you?”
Because... NINO’S MY BITCH AND HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.” Jun said loudly, so Nino, who was playing video games upstairs, could hear him.
Sho couldn't help but chuckle at that.
Nino barged out of the room and yelled down the stairs.
“Oi! I heard that!” A beat. “But it’s completely true so I’m not even go to try to deny it.” Nino chuckled.
Sho laughed at Jun, who was smirking proudly.
“Anyways, Leader said you rejected him because there was someone else you liked. That person wouldn’t happen to be Aiba, would it?”
Jun sighed.
You need to confess to him already.
You think hell actually like me back?
Not necessarily.
Then why should I bother? Ill just get rejected.
And Satoshi knew youd reject him, yet he still confessed.
Sho didnt have much to say to that.
You dont know hell reject you, so you havent let go of your feelings. If he agrees to go out with you, great. If Aiba rejects you, then you can finally let go and move on with your life. You cant hold on to a crush forever, Sho. You need to move forward.
Sho took a deep breath.
I guess youre right. Ill tell him how I feel.


What is it Sho-chan?
Can we talk for a minute?
Yeah, sure.
Sho led Aiba to an empty room down the hallway.
Masaki, I really like you. And Ive liked you for a long time now. I know this may seem completely unexpected, but will you go out with me?
Sho... Aiba took a deep breath. Im sorry, but I cant say that I feel the same way...
Oh. Sakurai felt a wave of sadness wash over him.
Thats what I thought youd say. I just thought it would be best to tell you how I felt. Sho smiled.
Thanks for listening to me. Sho exited the room, and returned to Arashis greenroom.


Getting through the rest of the day was tough. Everyone could see that something was wrong with Sakurai, but no one pushed the issue. Sho somehow managed to make it through the day without incident, though he did struggle to put on a fake smile for the cameras. Sho stayed behind after work to work on some lyrics for Arashis upcoming album, but nothing was coming to him. He crumpled up another paper and chucked it at the wall.
Dammit! Tears began to fill Shos eyes. He couldnt get his mind off of Aiba, and the fact that he would never be able to have him. He would never be able to show Aiba how much he cared. He dropped his pen on the table and leaned back on the couch, crying.


After what felt like hours (which were probably mere minutes) passed, Ohno entered the greenroom.
Ah, youre still here? Eh? Whats wrong? Ohno quickly noticed that his bandmate was crying.
Im fine. Sho sniffled and wiped away his tears. Why are you here?
I forgot my phone. Ohno said, retrieving the device and slipping it into his pocket.
He sat down next to Sho on the couch.
What's wrong?
Nothing, I told you Im fine. Sho said, as tears continued to stream down his face.
You are not fine. Come on, you can tell me anything.
Its Aiba.
Sho nodded.
Ohno wrapped his arm around his bandmate.
Youll find the right one someday, I promise.
If only I hadnt confessed, I wouldnt feel like this.
No, you did the right thing. You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up like that.
Sho nodded, wiping away more tears.
Ohno grabbed the box of tissues that were across the room and handed them to Sho.
I have more work tonight, but do you want to come over to my place and talk tomorrow night?
Sho nodded.
I'll see you then, okay?
"Go home and get some rest, alright? You can work on the lyrics some other time."

It was difficult forcing himself to get out of bed, but Sho knew it would be best to get out and do something, rather than stay in bed all day. He went shopping, buying some groceries and clothing, and met up with an old friend for lunch.

He was definitely feeling a lot better by the time he found himself knocking on the door of Ohnos apartment. Spending time with Ohno definitely helped Sho to forget about Aiba. Even when he thought about Aiba he found that he wasnt that upset by it. Ohno was warm and welcoming, and listened to everything Sho had to say. Sakurai was incredibly thankful that Ohno was being so kind.
Hey, are you hungry?
Yeah, a little bit.
Good, because look at what I caught this morning!
Ohno smiled widely as he pulled a decent-sized tuna out of the freezer.
You caught that today?
Yep! What luck, right? We can share it!
Sho grinned. He was excited about what would surely be a delicious meal, and about the fact that Ohno was just so cute when he was happy. Sho chuckled as he watched Ohno bounce around the kitchen, preparing the fish.
Do you need any help?
I think having you in the kitchen would be the opposite of help.
Ohno chuckled as Sho pouted.
Can I trust you to chop vegetables without cutting your fingers off?
I think so.
Ohno laughed.
Then get to it!

Sho, as expected, wasnt exactly helpful. Ohno had to stop was he was doing to teach Sho how to hold a knife properly.
Its surprising that someone in his thirties cant use a knife.
I never really have a need to prepare food for myself.
But you love food... Dont you want to learn how to cook for yourself?
I guess it would be nice to stay home sometimes...
Ill help teach you some time then. Im no master at cooking, but I can help you with the simple stuff.

This is so good! Sho exclaimed, mouth full of food.
Finish chewing first! We wouldnt want you to choke now would we?
But seriously, this is so good.
If you come fishing with me, Ill teach you how to catch one of these, and how to prepare it.
Sounds like a plan.
Youll actually go?
Yeah, why not? If the results are this delicious, Im in! Sho also wanted to spend more time with Ohno, but he didnt include that part.
Ohno laughed at that.


After dinner, the bandmates were relaxing on the couch, watching reruns of Ninos dramas, because thats what happened to be on. Sho found just relaxing with Ohno to be comforting, and wanted to spend more time with the older man. Looking back on it, Sho thought that he probably wouldnt have rejected Ohno if he werent so caught up on his fantasies about Aiba. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Ohno would make a good boyfriend. He felt terrible for rejecting him, after all.

Sho had finally caught on to the fact that his feelings for Ohno were real, and his feelings for Aiba were a mere fantasy. Sure they were probably real at some point, but after wanting Aiba for years, Shos mind started to make Aiba seem like he was perfect. But Sho was enjoying the personal time he was spending with Ohno right now, so why not go for it? Sho wasnt the type to jump into a relationship, but he felt happy with Ohno and thats what mattered.

Sho looked over at the man next to him, who was focused on the TV. He reached out and turned Ohno towards him, then pressed a kiss to his lips.
Ohno froze in shock, paralyzed until Sho separated.
Thank you, Satoshi.
Thanks for everything today. Youve been too kind and I appreciate it.
Uh... Youre welcome... Though I dont think I did much...
But I do have one request for you.
Eh? What is it?
Sho moved closer to Ohno.
Kiss me back this time, okay?
Ohno grinned and nodded, as Sho leaned in to kiss him again.


Are you sure this is okay? Ohno was still dazed about the fact the Sho was beneath him, naked.
For the last time, yes, you idiot.
Sorry, Ive liked you for so long that I just cant believe this is happening.
Save the sappiness for later, Im getting impatient over here. Sho smiled.
Sorry. Ohno pressed a quick kiss to Shos lips in apology.
Ohno got off the bed and retrieved lubricant from his nightstand, and began to prepare Sho soon after.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Sho moaned as Ohno touched his prostate.
Im ready now.
You sure?
Yes, please take me, Satoshi.
Sho groaned as Satoshi entered him, filling him with pain and pleasure. Ohno started slow, but soon picked up the pace as Sho began moaning and begging for more.
Sho reached his climax, calling out Ohnos name as he came, and Satoshis orgasm soon followed. After cleaning themselves off, the two men fell asleep in each others arms.

Satoshi was surprised when he woke up to find himself naked, and wrapped up in the arms of an equally undressed Sakurai Sho, until he remembered the previous nights activities. He smiled at the memory, until he realized that one crucial detail was missing.

This wouldnt be it between them, would it?

Ohno sure hoped not. He wanted an actual relationship with Sho, not a one-night stand. He really hoped that Sho felt the same way, though he feared that Sho still wouldnt be able to let go of Aiba.
He watched as Sho stirred from his sleep. Ohno chuckled at Shos puffy morning face. It was still the same as when they shared a hotel room in Hawaii at the time of Arashis debut.
Mornin, Satoshi.
Good morning, Sho. Ohno giggled again.
Whats so funny?
Oh, nothing. Your morning face is cute, thats all.
Cute? Its not cute, its ugly.
I, for one, think it is charming.
Yes. Just like everything else about you.
Stop it~! Sho blushed.
Including that nice ass of yours. Ohno pinched one of the cheeks.
Stop, its embarrassing! Sho covered his face with his hands, as his blushed darkened and spread to the tips of his ears.
Ohno laughed at Shos embarrassment.

After a brief period of silence, Ohno decided to voice his question.
So, does this mean we are dating now?
Sho stopped to think for a moment.
Yeah, I guess it does.
Ohno smiled.
Good. He leaned over and kissed Sho.


It isnt easy being in love with your bandmate. But Sho and Ohno were going to get through it, together.


Web Clap by FC2

Date: 2016-01-11 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flitterfly5.livejournal.com
Loved this! Thanks for writing <3!
'Kiss me back this time' -> fav line! Love how Sho got his happy ending with Ohno.

Date: 2016-01-11 06:11 am (UTC)
learashi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] learashi
Wow, it sure does get complicated when everyone seems to like someone else and not the right person. Glad they had a happy ending though and Nino IS totally Jun's bitch (it must be true if even he can see it).

Date: 2016-01-11 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] juchi-kazunashi.livejournal.com
“Sorry, I’ve liked you for so long that I just can’t believe this is happening.“
Totally love that line /sobs

Thank you for this, as heart-broken Sho was cute here ♥

Date: 2016-01-14 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] piggywhale.livejournal.com
I was secretly hoping the story would end up being Sakuraiba (despite the tag, lol ) But you made Yama sounded really wonderful here. Ohno was so caring. And Sho was happy. It's good to love and be loved back. :D

Thank you so much for writing and sharing.

Date: 2016-10-22 07:07 pm (UTC)
rollingday_s: (yama)
From: [personal profile] rollingday_s
My sakuraiba heart is crying, but my yama heart couldn't be happier.

"Kiss me back this time."
So. Damn. Cute.


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